Monday, 27 August 2018

The Laziest Writer

On The Planet

Is sitting up in his bed. His mind is in a turmoil, whirring in a hundred different directions all at once. He wants to start writing again... what can he post today that will bring some satisfaction that he is at least beginning to write again?

Maybe he'll write about the twat who loves to post crap on Twitter. It's obvious that he doesn't like twats who post crap on but he suddenly gets a flash from the past. It's funny how the mind works and he can remember a time period thirty years before with absolute clarity. A time when things were so real while at the same time, things weren't exactly what they seemed. Hindsight isn't twenty twenty, hindsight is a bitch!

He needs an angle to be able to tell just one story from those days. In years, it was such a long time ago but in his head, those things seem like it was just yesterday. Should he do a first person narrative? Goodness No! It wouldn't work, the reader wouldn't understand. Who would understand those days anyway? Idea dismissed.

His mind returns, this time to another twit on twitter. The writer is most definitely stumped.

His mind cruises into auto roam and random musings. Why do the spoils always end up with the wrongest, dumbest and least qualified? What is it about losers who see themselves as winners who consequently end up dumbing the rest of us down? Why do we the public, the media and good old nice, uncle Joe end up holding these characters in such high esteem? Twits buying from twats who end up dazzling the rest of us with other people's money.

Time to forget about the collective delusion and concentrate on some real shit. There are a diverse range of subjects and topics he could actually write about. He's sure that there are at least five good books he could churn out within a relatively short time frame. Who needs research? Decades of living on the edge trumps any research he could do.

He really believes in the book project, but what he needs right now is stronger than the urge to write. He knows deep down that once he starts, he cannot stop until it's finished. That's a problem because he happens to be the laziest writer on the planet.

So his mind wanders back to the twat on twitter: The least serious leading a society of serious minded people. God help us all. 

Reflecting on current trends, he might just find a serious topic to think about, reflect on and possibly write a post on. But what are the chances that that too hasn't been covered by someone else. Not much can be expected from a lazy writer anyway. He's off the hook.

His mind strays back to the twat that tweets non-stop on Twitter.

Thursday, 1 February 2018



And Fake News

Are trending. So, "what is the difference between a hoax and fake news?" They both seemed very similar to me.

According to Wikipedia:

"A hoax is a falsehood deliberately fabricated to masquerade as the truth. It is distinguishable from errors in observation or judgement, rumours, urban legends, pseudosciences, and April Fools Day events that are passed along in good faith by believers or as jokes."

"Fake news is a type of yellow journalism or propaganda that consists of deliberate misinformation or hoaxes spread via traditional print and broadcast news media or online social media. Fake news is written and published with the intent to mislead in order to damage an agency, entity, or person, and/or gain financially or politically, often using sensationalist, dishonest, or outright fabricated headlines to increase readership, online sharing, and internet click revenue."

Similar eh?

Okay, here's one...

Hamza Bendelladj was never executed. It was a hoax many swallowed hook, line and sinker. The real story is at the bottom of this post.

Surprisingly, many people are still being hoodwinked according to comments I've read on some platforms recently.

GMA News Online actually punctured the hoax in March, 2013. It didn't seem to make a difference.

The facts were eventually reported by BBC News online on 21 April, 2016 after sentencing as follows:

"Computer hackers who created malware that stole about $100m (£70m) have been given long jail sentences in the US.
Russian Aleksandr Andreevich Panin has been sentenced to nine-and-a-half years in jail. His accomplice, Algerian Hamza Bendelladj will serve 15 years.
They created the SpyEye virus package that is believed to have infected more than 50 million computers.
The sophisticated malware could steal sensitive data or let hackers use infectedmachines to send spam"....Full Story here... US bank hackers get long jail term

Remember that lying liars always get found out, and...

Thursday, 20 July 2017

Most Daring

Eli Cohen

is a legendary Israeli spy whose work contributed to the capture of the Golan Heights from Syria.

The true story of a master spy who almost became the defence minister of the country he was spying on. 

This is a short documentary about the fascinating story:

A national hero in Israel, he was indeed a daring individual.

His story inspired the film, "The Impossible Spy."

"without continuous personal development, you are now all that you will ever become, and hell starts when the person you are, meets the person you could have been." ~ Eli Cohen

Friday, 12 May 2017

Ambrose....Life Within Music

Remembering Ambrose Campbell

The quayside was where most of the seamen hung out while on shore leave. From that section of the Lagos waterfront, you could see across the waters, from the marina, you'll see the docks where the merchant ships slept.

The pungent odour of palm wine, mixed with culinary aromas hung in the air. Occasionally a slight breeze would bring with it, a waft, a mild smell of weed, that would vanish as quickly as it came, it left you wondering if you smelt it to begin with.

Felabration Event
Young Ambrose approached  the shelter where some sailors and locals sat most evenings with massive kegs of the elixir called palm wine within easy reach. 

Bawdy tales and laughter. Stories of triumphs and tragedies, seafaring adventures and other fascinating tales of the war preceded the music. The stories were coloured and constantly lubricated by the intoxicating liquor. It all made a great impression on him. 

But he was there for one thing and one thing only...the music.

Ambrose would come after dark to sit in and jam with the men. Playing percussion on a tin can, or sometimes he would be playing the boxed instrument called Agidigbo as the travellers played on their guitars, mandolin and other instruments. 

Eventually he got kicked out of the house when his father, a strict Victorian era church minister found out about where his young son went after dark. 

That wasn't the life he wanted for the boy, he was totally unimpressed by his son's talent and although the boy sang in the choir during Sunday service, it never mattered. 

Musicians had a bad rap in those days. They were perceived as negative stereotypes, and he probably disobeyed his father, one time too many....

Rescued and adopted by Herbert_Macaulay when he became homeless, Ambrose ended up in London at the end of WW2 and quickly became a resident artist at Abalabi Club in Soho. The club premises exist today as Ronnie Scotts

Baba Rosie as I've heard him referred to by those who knew him, was a wise old sage. None had a bad word to say about him. Ambrose Campbell enjoyed the immersive life of a music maker with all of it's ups and downs.

In 2006, he passed at a time his music was just being rediscovered by a new generation.

The sprinkling of Baba Rosie's rhythmical and melodic magic lingers within and across musical genres today. From Highlife to Jazz and even Country music.

I give credit here because some of that magic touched me too.

Wednesday, 1 March 2017

Food For Thought

Short Stories, Humour, Music and Entertainment! Occasional HOT TOPICs with a unique perspective..

What's On Your Mind?

"We drink too much, smoke too much, spend too recklessly, laugh too little, drive too fast, get too angry, stay up too late, get up too tired, read too little, watch TV too much. We have multiplied our possessions but reduced our values. We talk too much, love too seldom, and hate too often. We've learned how to make a living but not a life. We've added years to life, not life to years."   ~George Carlin 1937 - 2008

In the middle of one interview, L. Ron Hubbard was asked, "are you a mad man?" He answered; "We're all mad. The one person you will find who says or thinks they're not mad, is a madman!"

So when the biggest social network on the planet, as soon as I log in asks me; "What's on my mind?" I'm usually at a loss.

Asking what's on someone's mind, I think is really asking for trouble as we may quickly find, in one way or another that we're all mad.

The mind is very mysterious indeed. It's one reason psychiatry isn't an exact science. So, instead of asking someone what's on their mind..(however you want to define mind), wouldn't it be easier just to ask the question, "what are you thinking?" 

So what exactly is the mind? Is it separate from thought? Is it an amalgamation of both, essential to concepts, ideas and our core personalities?

How likely are you to answer truthfully, when someone asks what you're thinking. Will you be honest with a potential employer or someone from whom you're seeking a favour, if what you're thinking will derail that purpose? 

How truthful are you likely to be able to put out your sincere thoughts next time someone asks: "What are you thinking?"

Sane or mad, very few will be able to give an honest answer. The answers will usually be tailored to fit what the questioner wants to hear in order to accomplish our objective. The gain or fulfilment of a personal agenda...

Please don't ask what's on my mind. I hardly ever know. Rather, ask, "what are you thinking?" Or, "what are you going to do?" maybe even, "what do you say?"

If I'm sober and coherent, I might even give you an answer!

"If it is the beginning of madness, you can stop feigning sanity." ~ Robert Littell


Friday, 23 December 2016

The Best Laid Plans...

Short Stories, Humour, Music and Entertainment! Occasional HOT TOPICs with a unique perspective..

It's Christmas!

When a man politely opens the door of the car for his wife,  you can be sure of one thing:

Either the car is new or the wife is!

What's the difference between stress, tension and panic?

Stress is when wife is pregnant;

Tension is when girlfriend is pregnant;

Panic is when both are pregnant!

Grammar Teacher: Do you know the importance of a period?

Kid: "Yeah, once my sister said she had missed one, my mom fainted, dad got a heart attack and our driver ran away!"

A young boy asks his Dad: "What is the difference between confident and confidential?

Dad says: "You are my son, ..I'm confident about that. Your friend over there,  is also my son,  that, is confidential!"

A bookseller conducting a market survey asked a woman:
“Which book has helped you most in your life?”

The woman replied , “My husband’s cheque book!"

A prospective husband in a book store, Do you have a book called, "Husband the Master of the House?" 

Sales Girl : “Sir, Fiction and Comics are on the 1st floor!"

Someone asked an old man : “Even after 70 years, you still call your wife Darling, Honey,  and Love." What’s your secret?"

Old man : "I forgot her name and I’m scared to ask her!"

Wife : "I wish I was a newspaper. So I’d be in your hands all day."

Husband : "I too wish that you were a newspaper. So I could have a new one every day!"

Sunday, 6 November 2016

Airport Security

George's More Than A  Pet Peeve.. But A Major Psychotic Episode

This is to clarify that the content of the video is entirely for comedic purposes. I wouldn't do anything he suggests in the clip. It's just a Joke! And, if this is George Carlin's own insight and unique perspective, I wouldn't know anything about it, because I never met the man.

George Carlin was very funny.

His humour can be cutting. Sometimes extremely, because often, he takes it to the very edge.

Some would say, terrorism is no laughing matter. Lots of innocent people have been killed and maimed by creatures that have no love, empathy, pity or consideration for humanity. 

Their aim is to get governments to clamp down further on our freedoms, helping to feed on paranoia, with our consent.

Governments all over the globe are fighting the terrorists. There is vast support for everything the authorities are doing to detect, arrest and neutralise terrorists, but we must also do our bit. For instance, we can consciously decide to keep our eyes and ears open more than ever before. 

The government's main job, (in my humble opinion) is  to identify the sponsors, the sources of funding and the arms suppliers than keep terrorism in business.

The rest of us, should stay alert and observant. 

We should all be aware of what is happening around us at all times because those days when we went about our daily business, blissfully unaware of what is going on around us, are over.


It can be perplexing and worrisome to see people engrossed on mobile devices in public. Many seem so unaware because they are usually caught up in their own private virtual universe to the exclusion of everything else that's going on around them. 

We are responsible for our own personal safety, more than the security people who are in charge of keeping a professional eye out and apprehending those who are out to cause chaos and mayhem. 

If we refuse to be terrorised, if we refuse to allow terrorism to change our way of life, the way we interact with one another, keeping an eye out for danger, all these extraordinary and tighter security will be totally unnecessary. We will also be giving a strong message to the sinister forces, that their actions will not impact negatively on our freedom.

George's complaint is about overzealous security whose approach can sometimes rub citizens up the wrong way at the airports. 

A negative approach can give the wrong impression and  a whole lot of satisfaction to the terrorists, that their terrorism is in some ways, curbing our cherished freedoms.

His answers to the three big questions are funny and will probably get him arrested at most airports. 

At best, he wouldn't get to travel on the day, even if the airport security guys have a sense of humour.

We shouldn't really be afraid, instead, we should be alert to keep a keen eye out for anything that looks out of the ordinary at the airport and other public places. 

Refusing to be intimidated by terrorists, is one way to turn the tables, and make them to be afraid of us.

History has proven that the human spirit is indomitably unconquerable. So walk proudly with your head held high. There is nothing to fear but the fear itself!


The Laziest Writer

On The Planet Is sitting up in his bed. His mind is in a turmoil, whirring in a hundred different directions all at once. H...