Saturday, 23 July 2016

A Bad Boss Day?


Educating, Entertaining and Informing with Short Stories and Humour!



Are You Working for a Tyrannical Bully?





I have been lucky. Most of my working life, I can honestly say, I've had good bosses. Honest, hardworking and dedicated individuals who took their roles seriously. 

The great ones were always courteous, kind and helpful, inspiring the workforce to higher levels of productivity. 

These traits created a comfortably great atmosphere at work and the staff were always happy to go the extra mile because we had a great boss.

The only place I ever worked where the boss was a tyrant and bully, on my first day there, I noticed pinned on to the wall behind someone's desk, the following:


How The Asshole Became Boss


One day, all the organs of the body had a meeting to decide who would be boss. "I should be in charge," said the Brain, "I run everything and work out all solutions." 


"Oh no," said the Stomach, "I process the food through digestion and provide all the fuel and energy. I should be the boss" 


The Heart, Kidney and Lungs wanted to be boss too and made their cases. 


And so it went on until finally the Asshole interrupted and said he should be boss...


They all laughed, giggled and smirked at the idea of asshole being their boss. They really found it funny.


At that point the Asshole went on strike and refused to function. 


By the end of the week, the eyes got watery and blurred and the legs got wobbly. 


At the end of the second week, the stomach became bloated and the arms became lethargic. 


By the end of the fifth week, the heart and lungs were in severe distress and had begun to panic. 


By week six, Brain had a fever and couldn't think straight anymore...


That was when all of them decided to plead with Brain to let the Asshole take over and Brain agreed.  


So the Asshole became the boss and passed out shit while the others worked. 


And that is the reason The Boss Is Always An Asshole!


Bad bosses pick favourites, communicate poorly, misuse their power, are usually rude, take all the credit for other people's work and usually neglect their employees.



Studies show that bad bosses never accept responsibility for their mistakes, the poor decisions and their bad attitude toward people.

17% of employees say their bosses are dishonest. 13% claim their bosses are lazy while 25% say their bosses don't provide enough guidance and opportunities for advancement.

Bad bosses can destroy good staff. Causing them to flee while the remainder lose all motivation.




Know them by their response when you confront them and tell him or her that they're terrible bosses;


1) "A bad boss. Me? You really think so?" Should tell you, he/she doesn't know they're bad.


2) "I could do better if only I knew how!" He/She knows they're bad and wants to improve.


3) "It's my way or the highway!" Tells you they don't care either way!





To all the bad bosses out there, I say; Karma's just sharpening her nails and finishing her drink. She says, she'll be with you shortly because she has your address!







Saturday, 11 June 2016

Meeting Prince

Short Stories, Humour, Music and Entertainment. Just Good Fun. If there's anything to worry about, it's about not having fun!

A Short Story

With Some Reviews

Stories are all works of fiction. Names, characters, place and events are the product of the author's imagination. Any resemblance to actual persons, living or dead, events and places is totally coincidental

Camden



It was around that time in the early evening when the sun was just about to disappear beneath the horizon. The sky had that fading orange hue. I'd missed several buses going home. Now that I was in my neighbourhood of Camden town, I wasn't in any particular hurry to get to my house.

I was looking across the road, checking to see if the musical instrument shop on Chalk Farm Road was still open. Without paying attention to where I was going, I walked into what seemed to be a brick wall. In fact, I'd bumped into a man. My face was inches from his lower chest. The guy was huge.

I looked up at a stern looking face with bushy eyebrows,  his thin lips rested on a square jaw. He was wearing a tuxedo that looked a couple of sizes too small. His biceps were about twice the size of my thighs and he didn't look amused.

Behind him was a little guy wearing a dark designer suit that fit perfectly. He had on a purplish shirt with oversized collars. He looked amused. The big guy hesitated, I hesitated before I said my inevitable sorry. "Hey, how you doing?" the small statured guy asked. "I'm okay," I answered. "You didn't hurt your nose or anything bumping into Roland here?" "No!" I said.

Roland relaxed, I relaxed. There was something familiar about the smaller guy, but I couldn't place the face hidden behind the oversized glasses. I could just about see the dark straight hair under the wide brimmed hat that he wore. The conspiratorial look on his face gave the impression that he'd expected me to recognise him. Personally, I couldn't have cared less. I see familiar faces all over Camden on a regular basis.


Camden High Street



My nonchalance must have impressed him and we had an interesting conversation which I promised not to reveal to anyone. They were on a mission scouting out Camden venues. I gave them a few insights about the neighbourhood and the clubs and we said our goodbyes.


Two days later, Prince performed at The Electric Ballroom in Camden. I wasn't in the audience. I didn't even know about it until it came out on the news. Our conversation that evening will remain confidential for now. I will try to keep my promise, although it gets harder every day not telling anyone.


There's more and someday, I'll spill my guts. But not quite yet!

MusicArtinDesign




A tribute...In Fiction.

Reviews:

First Peer Review ~ 

How was the central character portrayed and was this portrayal clear and interesting?
First good choice of material. I would have liked to have the main character fleshed out more. The description of Roland and Prince was spot on. 
What made you think this piece was a story and did you want to read on?
It was a light-hearted and a good description of Camden. 
What were the most, and least, successful aspects of the writing?
I thought it could have gone places, after all he's met Prince! We could have been introduced to his jet set life. 

Second Peer Review ~

How was the central character portrayed and was this portrayal clear and interesting?
I enjoyed reading the descriptions, the characters came out vividly and quite mysterious. 
What made you think this piece was a story and did you want to read on?
The narrative gave me the impression that a story was about to unfold; the fact that there were these mysterious two people and they seemed to want something from the narrator was the reason why I read on; and the revelation in the end was quite interesting as well. 
What were the most, and least, successful aspects of the writing?
I think the most successful aspect of the writing was the description. The characters were normally but vividly described, fact which left me with an image from the story. However, the author exceeded the word limit (not much though), and it doesn't really seem like an introductory paragraph. I also think the description of the sky wasn't quite linked to what followed. The introduction could have been a bit more gripping. 

Third Peer Review ~

How was the central character portrayed and was this portrayal clear and interesting?
The main character in this piece of writing is the teller of the story. He is clearly portrayed as nonchalant, cool, casual. particularly through his manner of speech in the genre of 1930's private eye, Marlowe type and in the way he responds to his surroundings and others e,g, He is not phased when he bumps into Ronald. It was entertaining and I enjoyed the interplay between the characters 
What made you think this piece was a story and did you want to read on?
It was a story in that it set the scene and there was a moment of tension when the main character met Roland and the small guy. However we are not led towards the development of a plot because the character keeps his promises! 
What were the most, and least, successful aspects of the writing?
I was drawn to the characters, found them amusing. Thought there was potential to further the plot; set up some kind of dodgy deal between them. The promise thing was disappointing, seemed a bit of a cop out maybe. The last two paragraphs seemed to change style and felt a bit of an after thought. (All respects to Prince though) 

Tuesday, 3 May 2016

A Little Bit of Humour

Educate, entertain and inform! Short stories, humour, relevant and non relevant. Just good fun!


Where's the Money?






This Mafia Godfather finds out that his bookkeeper, Guido, has cheated him out of $10,000,000. 

The bookkeeper is deaf.

It was the reason he got the job in the first place. The mafiosi assumed that Guido would hear nothing so he would never have to testify in court. 

So, the Godfather goes to confront Guido about his missing $10 million, he takes along his lawyer who knows sign language.

The Godfather tells the lawyer, "Ask him where the money is!"

The lawyer, using sign language, asks Guido, "Where's the money?"

Guido signs back, "I don't know what you are talking about."

The lawyer tells the Godfather, "He says he doesn't know what you're talking about."

The Godfather pulls out a pistol, puts it to Guido's head and says, "Ask him again or I'll kill him!"

The lawyer signs to Guido, "He'll kill you if you don't tell him."

Guido trembles and signs, "OK! You win! The money is in a brown briefcase, buried behind the shed at my cousin Bruno's house."

The Godfather asks the lawyer, "What did he say?"

The lawyer replies, "He says you don't have the balls to pull the trigger!"

The End..




Sunday, 10 April 2016

One Night Out

Educate, entertain and inform! How to be relevant where ever you live!

On The Dance Floor



Kanda Bongo Man On Stage
Easter weekend was a self-indulgent one.

My occasional sense of entitlement kicked in and I over indulged.

Yes, I admit it...I get these occasional lapses. After all, I'm only human!

I get into the spirit of the holidays. It's usually very good, if I'm not alone. 

But, if I end up alone during celebrations, I will sometimes eat a little bit more than usual. I will eat and drink portions I would otherwise serve to others.

Moments like these, I do as little as possible, act like a bum and lay around all day long doing nothing but over eating. I'm good at convincing me, that I deserve to treat myself...

But by the Easter Monday, I was having a pang of conscience because I'd had a few defiant smokes along the way too, I'm supposed to have quit.

It wasn't a good feeling but I got over that one too. 

Persuading myself that, it was just a lapse and not a relapse. 



The Wednesday after Easter, my body was telling me different. I felt bloated, lethargic and generally unfit.

I don't have an exercise regime and my one chance at a workout was to go dancing. But, where? And when? No clue!

Through Social Media I found out that Kanda Bongo Man was performing at Rich Mix in Bethnal Green. The promoter? Atta of the Focus Group. Good. I fire off a text!

"No problem, come on down," he replied.

So, on Friday 1st of April, I was at Rich Mix dancing to the music of the King of Kwassa Kwassa, Kanda Bongo Man


Douglas on Bass

I boogied, gyrated and sweated tons. 

Kanda's music will do that to you. He has been pumping out Kwassa Kwassa for decades and has acquired fans from all over the world.

The fans cut across race, ethnic and cultural boundaries and they all come to Kanda's gigs for only one thing. To Dance.

Ask those fans and they'll tell you, “If Kanda Bongo Man doesn’t make you want to dance, call an ambulance,” because,  “you’re dead!”


Kanda with some fans

And so, I danced and danced. Got home in the early hours of the morning and slept like a baby.

The next morning, the conflict between my body and mind was fully resolved. I looked up to the heavens and muttered, "thank you God!"

Stay blessed my friends..


Thursday, 24 March 2016

Celebrating A Classic Story

Educate, entertain and inform!

150 Years and Counting...




It was the 4th of July 1862 when Charles Lutwidge Dodgson took the fateful boat trip up the river Thames toward Godstow.

Accompanying him were three sisters. Lorina, Alice and Edith Liddell, the three eldest daughters of the Dean of Christchurch. With them was also Reverend Robinson Duckworth of Trinity College.

During the journey, Dodgson, a mathematician and keen amateur photographer narrated an adventure story to the Liddell sisters.

The story must have made an impression on young Alice Liddell because upon their return to Christchurch, she asked Dodgson to write out the story for her.

That same evening and on a train journey the following day, he set out the main headings of a story that would endure for over 150 years.

He began the manuscript text a few months later and completed it on 10th February 1863.

In November 1864, he presented the manuscript volume with his own illustrations to Alice Liddell. The title was, "Alice's Adventures Underground."



The manuscript version he retained for reference, was expanded into the fuller text of what later became "Alice's Adventures in Wonderland."

Dodgson then translated his own name into Latin and back into English again and came up with the pseudonym "Lewis Carroll" under which the book itself would be published in 1865.

Totally unsatisfied with the way the pictures came out in the print, the book was withdrawn from sale. The rejected copies were presented to children's hospitals and institutions.

In November 1865 the second edition of Alice in Wonderland was published. This new edition was more satisfactory to Dodgson. It was said by the author to be "perfect of artistic printing."




Lewis Carroll's life changed forever after Alice's Adventures in Wonderland was published.

The British Library is currently holding an exhibition to celebrate 150 years of the publication of Alice in Wonderland. On display are the original manuscripts, engravings and many inspirational material. 

http://www.bl.uk/events/alice-in-wonderland-exhibition

The exhibition will conclude on Sunday 17th April 2016. It's worth it, to take the time and the kids to The British Library to see this free exhibition. I can guarantee that children will find it fascinating.

FBD on MAD here soon!

Have A Happy Easter!


'Bodederek