Friday, 23 December 2016

The Best Laid Plans...

Short Stories, Humour, Music and Entertainment! Occasional HOT TOPICs with a unique perspective..

It's Christmas!

When a man politely opens the door of the car for his wife,  you can be sure of one thing:

Either the car is new or the wife is!

What's the difference between stress, tension and panic?

Stress is when wife is pregnant;

Tension is when girlfriend is pregnant;

Panic is when both are pregnant!

Grammar Teacher: Do you know the importance of a period?

Kid: "Yeah, once my sister said she had missed one, my mom fainted, dad got a heart attack and our driver ran away!"

A young boy asks his Dad: "What is the difference between confident and confidential?

Dad says: "You are my son, ..I'm confident about that. Your friend over there,  is also my son,  that, is confidential!"

A bookseller conducting a market survey asked a woman:
“Which book has helped you most in your life?”

The woman replied , “My husband’s cheque book!"

A prospective husband in a book store, Do you have a book called, "Husband the Master of the House?" 

Sales Girl : “Sir, Fiction and Comics are on the 1st floor!"

Someone asked an old man : “Even after 70 years, you still call your wife Darling, Honey,  and Love." What’s your secret?"

Old man : "I forgot her name and I’m scared to ask her!"

Wife : "I wish I was a newspaper. So I’d be in your hands all day."

Husband : "I too wish that you were a newspaper. So I could have a new one every day!"

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